Wed., 10 June 2009
QUEEN CEE'S SCHOOL of FEMININE DEPORTMENT: Session X9X
Following is the latest dispatch from the above referenced Institution of Charm and Finishing:
"Pedagogical Theory" versus -
At various and sundry times, you may find yourself in the company of young gentlemen to whom you are Not Related. This can be a Ticklish Situation, but managed properly, and with Discretion and Forethought, you have nothing to fear.
For example, consider the following Real Life Example.
Bouncing down the stairs with your 'Felicity' American Girl doll in your arms, you turn the corner only to find your Youngest Oldest Brother playing host to one of his gentleman friends from school.
Now, we all understand that in the Feminine Vernacular, this clearly would be understood to constitute a "Play Date;" and no one would be troubled in the least that the term "play date" may connote, to a few insecure types, an activity generally enjoyed by Children. However, no such presumptions of unalloyed maturity should be made in reference to those of the Masculine Persuasion--at ANY age. You do well, gentle readers, to bear this in mind.
Trust the generously shared instincts and experience of your older, wiser mentor here and mentally label this occasion a Virtual Field Exercise...or any other male-friendly label that will not raise hackles.
It is generally advisable NOT to sashay into the room, brazenly insinuate yourself into their Theater of War, and demand, "Whatcha doin'!!??"
Unless all of the planets are in perfect alignment (which should never be assumed), you will NOT endear yourself to your brother or to his guest(s). To the Contrary, dear sister, you may well find yourself shunned, ignored, or the particular recipient of scowls, snorts, or worse.
It should go without saying--but may not-- that neither should you schlump down anywhere near a game controller or remote control (ACHTUNG!!!! VERBOTEN!!!)--and CERTAINLY! -- do NOT, under ANY circumstances, attempt to usurp a cushion or (worse still!!!) Stand in Front of the Screen!!!
Such behavior may well be hazardous to life and limb. At the Very Least, it will only serve to accelerate your progress to the top of their Persona Non Grata list ...and all the tattling, sniveling, cajoling, or bribing in the world will not 'right your ship.'
...versus "Real Life, Observed"-
2:20 p.m. this afternoon, Holliday family room. An eerie, charged atmosphere prevails...
John, Classmate David, and Miss Cee, in this order, are lined up, tummies-down, on the floor. All six glassy eyeballs are assiduously trained on the flickering screen, and each slackened mouth slightly gapes. No drool, is detected, however. It's early in the skirmish.
John: "AHHHHH! No fair! My guys weren't in position yet!!"
Classmate D: [no sympathy here!] "Heh!!! Too bad...you knew it was harder at this level!"
John: [squirming] "Yeah, but....wait a minute---CECILY!!!! Mom, Cecily's bothering us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Miss Cee: [oblivious] "C'mon, c'mon, punk! Just a little further...oh, yeah!!! You punk, you! Gotcha, punk!!! Didn't see THAT coming, didja?" *smirk*