Monday, February 21, 2011

Overheard in a Chinese Restaurant

Scene: Chen's Chinese Restaurant, Somewhere in the Midwest. Inside, nothing has changed since 1969, except that the green enameled partitions, once meant to suggest a Mediterranean grotto, are hung wtih Oriental lanterns, emblazoned with roaring dragons; they appear a little less ferocious under a protective layer of dust.

The table is littered with the remains of multi-dish Cantonese family meal, well enjoyed.

And now, for the long-anticipated piece de resistance: the presentation of the guest check and Fortune Cookies!

John: We have to crack them open all together!

Mom: OK, 1-2-3-***CRACK!!!***

Dad: OK, I'll read mine: "Your present business venture will soon succeed." I'll take that fortune!

Miss Cee: Me next! No, Johnny, I said it's MY turn! Let's see *turns crinkled fortune upside down a few times* Hmmmmm, OK, here it is!! "You have a mag...a mag..something....person...huh?

Alina: Let's see that...ah...aha!!! "You have a magnetic personality." Well, well, well! Who knew?

John: Magnetic to what??? She's kind of bossy to be magnetic...just sayin'...

Miss Cee: Hey!!!

Mom: John, what does yours say?

John: ...hmmmm...let me...see...ah, never mind...

Indignant Chorus: No, no, no, you have to share Johnny!!

John: No, really....

Mom: I bet it says something about meeting an intriguing stranger, right?

John: Um, NO!!!

Dad: Alina, you can take a fortune cookie...just don't eat the cookie part [editor's note: fortune cookies contain gluten protein, the verboten ingredient for those with celiac disease.]

Alina: *crack* Well, OK, what does it say here?--

John: [reaching a bit too eagerly]: It says, "I'LL eat your cookiie!!!"

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