Monday, August 30, 2010

Did I Ask?

"Your pants are too fancy!"

Thus quoth Miss Cee at lunch today.

As I often recount to my better half, many of the absurdities of my life seem to occur while I am 'just minding my own business, not bothering anybody'--in short, just trying to do what I think I'm supposed to be doing at a given time.

But, keeping my head down is no guarantee of a peaceful day. Due to an incredible and ghastly oversight, I somehow appeared at school today, one of my assigned days to serve as on-site teacher helper, clad in four-year-old beige capris of indistinct pattern. Did a brick fall on my head? What could I have been thinking? Do I know how to think?

And, gentle reader, it gets worse! Brace yourself!

Peering at me as if I were a mounted slide under a high school microscope, Miss Cee continued the unsolicited critique...

"Well, look, your lips are TOO dark!"

What do you mean?

"I MEAN your lipstick is too, too dark!" *scrunching up nose*

But this is the same lipstick I've worn for, like, three years....

"It's actually, like BURGUNDY!!"

Really? Seriously?

By now, both she and her best friend were shaking their heads in synchronized censure...had I been a few years younger, or having a very bad hormone day, I might have cried...

"Just too dark," she pronounced, putting this unseemly episode to bed.

Strangely, a couple of hours later, someone looking remarkably like Miss Cee...truly, it could be her identical twin!...asked me, while licking the last vestige of ice cream cone off the corner of her mouth...'Can I call Alyssa and see if she is busy, or...something?'

Well, on an ordinary day I might be able to take this under consideration but, you see, today has been rather traumatic...what with my pants being too fancy...

"They're not TOO fancy...they're just, you know, KINDA fancy..."

Oh! This is an interesting philosophy...

And then there's the issue of my wicked burgundy lips...

*eyebrows arched* "Um, well, they aren't quite as dark now...especially your lower lip...maybe you licked it and now it's better..."

Or, maybe, being wise in your own little nine-year-old eyes no longer seems quite so fun as checking to make sure that Alyssa is not too busy....but, that's a guess...

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