Eeeesh, well, the Percolator Editor here must beg your indulgence...it can tend to be a roller coaster ride here at The Perk...harrowing headlines, funereal ruminations, sneak peeks through the Circle H keyhole, as it were...and now for Something Completely Different...
This brief installment is intended only for the female of the species, as no other "persuasion" can have the same, shall we say, appreciation for the subject matter...
What happened today, other than the afore-mentioned Census Skirmish, you ask...
Well...
Today was the occasion of yet another medical procedure on the increasingly crowded check-up agenda for Women of a Certain Age...
As I tried to locate the elusive tie string on my haute couture 'gown', I glanced around at the other ladies also detained in the Breast Health Center waiting area... some appeared utterly absorbed in the soap opera droning on from the wall-mounted TV...a couple were shouting into their cell phones, apparently laboring under the delusion that any of the rest of us cared to hear their side of the conversations...
And there was I...flipping through past memories of this no-longer-novel clinical experience...sighs of trepidation...creeping thoughts of anxiety...and then the recollection of thousands of women guffawing in raucous laughter...
It was 1996 at one of the first Women of Faith tour events...a veritable sea of estrogen...and Patsy Clairmont, a tiny sprite of a woman with a biting wit...
[paraphrase] "And let's talk about the appointment that we all wait for all year long...with great anticipation...the mammogram!...To be fair, there are no doubt a few of you younger ladies out there tonight who have not yet been initiated, so I'll just cut to the chase for you...this is where you go into a freezing cold room where you step up to a contraption that turns your Cup into a Saucer...or, if you're no longer exactly a Cup, never fear; it will turn your Saucer into a Napkin...now you know..."
Although I am no stranger to any number of womanly medical procedures, this is one from which I must avert my eyes, and therefore, I cannot say for certain (or, even with interest!) whether I am still a Saucer or have somehow progressed to Napkin or Kleenex status.
But, the technician called me back for the results (if you book your appointment on certain days, the radiologist reads the films immediately and you have your results before going home). "Everything's fine, you don't have to come back for a year," she chirped brightly. And that was a blessing I was glad to leave with.
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