Whether you look on it as a good or bad thing, it only happens once a decade...the long-awaited black and white envelope from the Federal Government that reminds you that you're Required By Law to process the enclosed paperwork...and, it's too infrequent, too small, and too lightweight to be from Our Least Favorite Correspondent, the IRS...
Here at the Circle H Ranch, One of us tends to have a Sense of Occasion, as in 'this doesn't come along every day, let's take a gander...' But, this serendipitous perspective is routinely trumped by the Other one of us who considers anything with even a faint whiff of Officialdom to be his own sacrosanct property.
Thus, I solemnly relate the following factual account...
He [brandishing the envelope with something approaching zest]: We need to fill this out!
She: Oh! The Census Survey! Yes, I had set that aside to look at that...it only comes once every ten years, ya know!
He: Yes, and it needs to be filled out...
She: Right...I was going to fill it out...I look at it as kind of a novelty...they don't come every day, ya know!
He: I'm going to fill it out right now...
She: NO! I was going to do it! [unceremoniously snatching it away] Oooo! Look, there are all kind of new categories this time!
He: Like what? I hope there are still only two options for gender...there's no "T" for transgender or anything is there?
She: No, but you can be not only just a Pacific Islander, but specifically a Tongan, or a Fijian...
He: Fifian?
She: No, that's a French poodle name...I'm talking about ethnic groups...I think I better do this myself...
He: Oh, no you don't...[futilely reaching for the survey]
She: Hah! No! I have you in my power!
He: Oh! Well! You do! Game Over...
She: ParDON?
He: You have me...in your power...
She: *prematurely assumes a smug look of satisfaction, and reaches for her novel*
Short moments later...
He: Well, that was not nearly as involved as I thought it would be...
She: What are you talking about?
He: The Census Survey...we've got to get this stuff taken care of, ya know...
She: Hey! I was going to do that!!
He: Well, just so you know, I'M 'Person 1'....which means you are only 'Person 2'...
John: Is that like Thing 1 and Thing 2 in The Cat in the Hat, Dad?
He: Well, YES! Yes, it is!
She: It is NOTHING of the sort!
John: Can I be Person 5? Please?
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