Is it just me, or does it actually seem like '18 is the new 14'?
We were out for a lovely dinner with friends the other night, parents all, and bouncing a few things back and forth. We reached consensus that many 18 year-olds these days (not to mention any names) seem decidedly less mature than, say, when we were 18. Why is that? It seems like too many 18-year-olds act and have expectations that more closely approximate the high school freshman of yore...
A few years back I saw a few articles explaining the new (and, in my book, unwelcome)social phenomenon of 'adultelescence.' These are the (disaffecte?) lot that qualify as legal adults chronologically, but not in terms of self-concept, sense or responsibility, independence, or much of anything else. This doesn't seem like such a good thing....
More later, as the Percolator perks on this...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Of Cost and Value
Bon nuit...
No Cecilyisms or amusing photos today...just a brief thought...well, actually, an old thought "comin' around again" [mentally insert Carly Simon song as audiotrack].
Many years ago, I listened and understood as someone explained that: one of the ways value is acknowledged and/or imputed to someone or something is when retribution is required. In other words, something is intrinsically valuable, but we live in a fallen world and that value may not be universally recognized. Thus, when the Thing of Value is compromised, damaged, or destroyed, justice requires that a penalty be levied.
This is the principle at stake when capital sentences are handed down; in a murder case, a human life was forfeited by human means; and one of the ways its value is confirmed and the evil of the deed confirmed is by the requirement that the debt be paid...either by 'a life for a life', or a protracted incarceration. [In fact, I am no etymologist but I can't help but wonder whether the 'car' part of incarceration is derived from a Latin root meaning 'flesh'; as in 'incarnation'--which, as we know, means to take on earthly form or flesh; or 'incarnadine' -- which refers to the color of flesh...OK, I digress.]
Obviously, Christ's redemption of us hangs on the truth of this principle and the fact that God required a penalty for our sin.
Additionally, of course, there is the undeniable and desirable deterrent factor attached to penalties: doing this bad thing leads to that unwelcome consequence.
BUT, here is my point. And I am sure it neither original nor profound; the thought occurs that this same principle of value being tied to cost is true in other contexts, as well.
Let's take that elusive commodity: Trust. Many's the parent who has listened as the errant teenager whines "don't you trust me?" Such a question assumes that trust is an entitlement. And who would dare to rescind it? Until, that is, their own trust is betrayed by someone else. And many are the times this parent has had to flip on the MomVoice Recorder and explain...'no, I no longer trust you with X because of the way you betrayed that trust by doing Y. No, it's not an automatic 'reload.' You have to EARN my trust back.'
Earn? Like in, having to exert oneself in order to secure something of value? Now you're catching on...
And, I think, the converse is true, or at least in a way I hadn't thought of before. If you just dole out trust willy-nilly, regardless of the context of characterization of the 'trustee', you cheapen it...and nullify it. Maybe it isn't even trust at all...maybe what you're extending is mere license...and that is a very different thing...
I'm thinking trust can't really be trust if it is not valued by the 'truster'. In fact, it seems axiomatic...if someone wants your trust, they must consider it of some value, or they wouldn't want it in the first place...
Lesson: Appreciate the value of the trust you accord to others, and the trust they extend to you. Otherwise, you may find yourself feeling like the hapless pearl owner who cast his treasure before swine...
No Cecilyisms or amusing photos today...just a brief thought...well, actually, an old thought "comin' around again" [mentally insert Carly Simon song as audiotrack].
Many years ago, I listened and understood as someone explained that: one of the ways value is acknowledged and/or imputed to someone or something is when retribution is required. In other words, something is intrinsically valuable, but we live in a fallen world and that value may not be universally recognized. Thus, when the Thing of Value is compromised, damaged, or destroyed, justice requires that a penalty be levied.
This is the principle at stake when capital sentences are handed down; in a murder case, a human life was forfeited by human means; and one of the ways its value is confirmed and the evil of the deed confirmed is by the requirement that the debt be paid...either by 'a life for a life', or a protracted incarceration. [In fact, I am no etymologist but I can't help but wonder whether the 'car' part of incarceration is derived from a Latin root meaning 'flesh'; as in 'incarnation'--which, as we know, means to take on earthly form or flesh; or 'incarnadine' -- which refers to the color of flesh...OK, I digress.]
Obviously, Christ's redemption of us hangs on the truth of this principle and the fact that God required a penalty for our sin.
Additionally, of course, there is the undeniable and desirable deterrent factor attached to penalties: doing this bad thing leads to that unwelcome consequence.
BUT, here is my point. And I am sure it neither original nor profound; the thought occurs that this same principle of value being tied to cost is true in other contexts, as well.
Let's take that elusive commodity: Trust. Many's the parent who has listened as the errant teenager whines "don't you trust me?" Such a question assumes that trust is an entitlement. And who would dare to rescind it? Until, that is, their own trust is betrayed by someone else. And many are the times this parent has had to flip on the MomVoice Recorder and explain...'no, I no longer trust you with X because of the way you betrayed that trust by doing Y. No, it's not an automatic 'reload.' You have to EARN my trust back.'
Earn? Like in, having to exert oneself in order to secure something of value? Now you're catching on...
And, I think, the converse is true, or at least in a way I hadn't thought of before. If you just dole out trust willy-nilly, regardless of the context of characterization of the 'trustee', you cheapen it...and nullify it. Maybe it isn't even trust at all...maybe what you're extending is mere license...and that is a very different thing...
I'm thinking trust can't really be trust if it is not valued by the 'truster'. In fact, it seems axiomatic...if someone wants your trust, they must consider it of some value, or they wouldn't want it in the first place...
Lesson: Appreciate the value of the trust you accord to others, and the trust they extend to you. Otherwise, you may find yourself feeling like the hapless pearl owner who cast his treasure before swine...
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Perhaps I Spoke Too Quickly...
....not that THAT ever happens....
Anyway, a few days ago, I posted a sort of mini-rant about how the mass media worldview seems to change a bit when an 'act of God'-scale disaster strikes; like the Haitian earthquake; and I think I said something about betting no help would be coming from certain quarters, such as North Korea. My long-held supposition is that, for generations, people have tried to get into 'free' countries, such as the US, while in contrast, no one tries to bust into totalitarian states....or, so I thought.
Here's a headline from today: Can't remember, but I think this is from cnn.com or foxnews.com...
American Detained in North Korea Seeks Asylum
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Print ShareThisSEOUL, South Korea — An American man detained by North Korea after allegedly entering the communist country illegally has sought asylum and wants to join its military, a news report said Saturday.
South Korea's Dong-a Ilbo newspaper said the man crossed into North Korea from China on Monday.
It said an unidentified source in North Korea told the newspaper the 28-year-old man said he came to the country because he did not "want to become a cannon fodder in the capitalist military," and "wants to serve in the North Korean military" instead.
The National Intelligence Service, South Korea's top spy agency, said it could not immediately confirm the report. The U.S. Embassy in Seoul said it had no such information.
So, I guess one should 'never say never'....there obviously is a back story here...like what this American was doing in China to start with (business?) and whether this is patently true or significantly 'spun'?....
Stay tuned....
Anyway, a few days ago, I posted a sort of mini-rant about how the mass media worldview seems to change a bit when an 'act of God'-scale disaster strikes; like the Haitian earthquake; and I think I said something about betting no help would be coming from certain quarters, such as North Korea. My long-held supposition is that, for generations, people have tried to get into 'free' countries, such as the US, while in contrast, no one tries to bust into totalitarian states....or, so I thought.
Here's a headline from today: Can't remember, but I think this is from cnn.com or foxnews.com...
American Detained in North Korea Seeks Asylum
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Print ShareThisSEOUL, South Korea — An American man detained by North Korea after allegedly entering the communist country illegally has sought asylum and wants to join its military, a news report said Saturday.
South Korea's Dong-a Ilbo newspaper said the man crossed into North Korea from China on Monday.
It said an unidentified source in North Korea told the newspaper the 28-year-old man said he came to the country because he did not "want to become a cannon fodder in the capitalist military," and "wants to serve in the North Korean military" instead.
The National Intelligence Service, South Korea's top spy agency, said it could not immediately confirm the report. The U.S. Embassy in Seoul said it had no such information.
So, I guess one should 'never say never'....there obviously is a back story here...like what this American was doing in China to start with (business?) and whether this is patently true or significantly 'spun'?....
Stay tuned....
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thumb Redux
Ben just finished with today's re-check appointment on his thumb. You may recall, if you read last night's post, that I delegated this little excursion to my Personal Accountant, who reports the following:
Dr. S. unwrapped and checked the thumb. Suspecting it is not sufficiently drained, he opened it up again, which required the same procedure that occurred on Wednesday. So, I'm feeling pretty glad that I was not in the treatment room again with the long-suffering Ben.
However, this time, the doctor did the anesthetizing and, according to Ben, did a Much Better Job than D., the physicians'assistant. Which the doctor apparentlytook some pleasure in reporting to the underappreciated PA. This probably had something to do with the fact that the thumb had already been lanced for the first time already.
I am still suspecting that the bouncing blood sugars may have something to do with this not clearing up as quickly as we had hoped...so will probably make another call inquiring about that.
In the meantime, Cecily and I are working on drawing 'tres gatos' (3 cats), 'siete osos'(7 bears), and 'dos vacas' (2 cows)....for Spanish homework....which is WAY more fun than being John and having to convert fractions to decimals to percentages for no good earthly reason!!!
Dr. S. unwrapped and checked the thumb. Suspecting it is not sufficiently drained, he opened it up again, which required the same procedure that occurred on Wednesday. So, I'm feeling pretty glad that I was not in the treatment room again with the long-suffering Ben.
However, this time, the doctor did the anesthetizing and, according to Ben, did a Much Better Job than D., the physicians'assistant. Which the doctor apparentlytook some pleasure in reporting to the underappreciated PA. This probably had something to do with the fact that the thumb had already been lanced for the first time already.
I am still suspecting that the bouncing blood sugars may have something to do with this not clearing up as quickly as we had hoped...so will probably make another call inquiring about that.
In the meantime, Cecily and I are working on drawing 'tres gatos' (3 cats), 'siete osos'(7 bears), and 'dos vacas' (2 cows)....for Spanish homework....which is WAY more fun than being John and having to convert fractions to decimals to percentages for no good earthly reason!!!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Telephone Game
Bon Soir-
Here's an echo from childhood....remember the old 'telephone game?' Of course, you do. I'm sure it's still in vogue, but perhaps played via electronic media somehow. The idea is that you begin a message at one end of a line comprised of several people...most often, in my experience, giggling little girls at birthday parties...this was before cell-phones, iPads, etc. The message is passed from one set of ears and lips to the next until the end of the line is reached. Then comes The Proof of the Pudding...which virtually always means The Proof that most messages do not come out the other end without having undergone significant distortion...and, hopefully, this is/was a source of harmless amusement.
Last night I found myself at the end of a telephone game...the phone rang, I answered, and found myself talking to one of our dear church pastors. He was between meetings but wanted to see how we were doing and whether we had been inundated with phone calls....parDON?
"Well, I understood that Ben had just been released from the hospital."
Um, that was true a little over a year ago...but not today...or even yesterday...
Somehow a well-intended but inaccurate message had morphed...that Ben had been hospitalized again and had an abscess on the back of his knee, precipitating surgery and concern. Fortunately, reality as it relates to Ben's health has been so much less harrowing this time!
I felt badly that anyone should be concerned and misinformed...but it was very warming to be cared about and called.
Update: Ben's thumb is sore but mending. He, for some reason unknown to me, has been laudably persisting in his peroxide soaks and glucochecks. Thus far the blood sugar readings have been reasonable (103 earlier today), but just now it was 195, and he is supposed to inject .5 unit of Humalog for every 50 points over 150...this stuff gets tricky.
Most of the thumb is looking better, but there is still an "angry" looking area.
Best News: I do not have to take him for his follow-up appt. tomorrow...I've delegated that fun little errand to My Personal Accountant...of course, it probably won't be quite as exciting without any long needles or syringes...I guess I was just
'lucky' to pull that duty on Wednesday...
Fashion News: Ben's Coach has come up with an idea for a new T-shirt...inspired by Ben...it would say..."I Am the $ Million Kid....just ask my parents..." This is probably not quite so far-fetched as it sounds if we add up all of Ben's medical costs from the past 15 months...but, why go there?
* * * * * * * *
Queen Cee and Her Gentlemen-in-Waiting...
Don't even bother shaking your head. It was bound to happen.
Today we went on a field trip to LegoLand in Schaumburg, IL. It was kind of a kick, offering more than the obligatory "gift shop" and Technicyle Ride. There was actually a learning component, as well. This was entitled, "Tall Towers Training" and consisted of a friendly, competent young man engaging the students in a question-discussion about basic building concepts....structure, balance, interlocking reinforcement, etc. This included team challenges...groups of four or five students, provided with a Tub of Legos and the assignment of building towers that were meant to withstand an 'earthquake test' [how's that for timely?] which was approximated by a vibrating platform.
Here a team, there a team, everywhere a team-team....except over there in the corner, the so-called Green Team. Unlike all the other groups, there were only 3 junior architects on this job. And one was clearly in charge. Her Gentleman-Servants were (I'm not making this up) Cayden and Hayden. Yes. The same good-sport Hayden who was seen last year at the school program being navigated around the gymnasium by Queen Cee's hand planted firmly on top of his head.
I exchanged knowing glances with Hayden's Very Good-Natured Mom: "I'll try to watch and make sure she doesn't try that again," I promised.
"Well," she smiled, "we'll see."
The Queen is nothing if not entertaining.
Here's an echo from childhood....remember the old 'telephone game?' Of course, you do. I'm sure it's still in vogue, but perhaps played via electronic media somehow. The idea is that you begin a message at one end of a line comprised of several people...most often, in my experience, giggling little girls at birthday parties...this was before cell-phones, iPads, etc. The message is passed from one set of ears and lips to the next until the end of the line is reached. Then comes The Proof of the Pudding...which virtually always means The Proof that most messages do not come out the other end without having undergone significant distortion...and, hopefully, this is/was a source of harmless amusement.
Last night I found myself at the end of a telephone game...the phone rang, I answered, and found myself talking to one of our dear church pastors. He was between meetings but wanted to see how we were doing and whether we had been inundated with phone calls....parDON?
"Well, I understood that Ben had just been released from the hospital."
Um, that was true a little over a year ago...but not today...or even yesterday...
Somehow a well-intended but inaccurate message had morphed...that Ben had been hospitalized again and had an abscess on the back of his knee, precipitating surgery and concern. Fortunately, reality as it relates to Ben's health has been so much less harrowing this time!
I felt badly that anyone should be concerned and misinformed...but it was very warming to be cared about and called.
Update: Ben's thumb is sore but mending. He, for some reason unknown to me, has been laudably persisting in his peroxide soaks and glucochecks. Thus far the blood sugar readings have been reasonable (103 earlier today), but just now it was 195, and he is supposed to inject .5 unit of Humalog for every 50 points over 150...this stuff gets tricky.
Most of the thumb is looking better, but there is still an "angry" looking area.
Best News: I do not have to take him for his follow-up appt. tomorrow...I've delegated that fun little errand to My Personal Accountant...of course, it probably won't be quite as exciting without any long needles or syringes...I guess I was just
'lucky' to pull that duty on Wednesday...
Fashion News: Ben's Coach has come up with an idea for a new T-shirt...inspired by Ben...it would say..."I Am the $ Million Kid....just ask my parents..." This is probably not quite so far-fetched as it sounds if we add up all of Ben's medical costs from the past 15 months...but, why go there?
* * * * * * * *
Queen Cee and Her Gentlemen-in-Waiting...
Don't even bother shaking your head. It was bound to happen.
Today we went on a field trip to LegoLand in Schaumburg, IL. It was kind of a kick, offering more than the obligatory "gift shop" and Technicyle Ride. There was actually a learning component, as well. This was entitled, "Tall Towers Training" and consisted of a friendly, competent young man engaging the students in a question-discussion about basic building concepts....structure, balance, interlocking reinforcement, etc. This included team challenges...groups of four or five students, provided with a Tub of Legos and the assignment of building towers that were meant to withstand an 'earthquake test' [how's that for timely?] which was approximated by a vibrating platform.
Here a team, there a team, everywhere a team-team....except over there in the corner, the so-called Green Team. Unlike all the other groups, there were only 3 junior architects on this job. And one was clearly in charge. Her Gentleman-Servants were (I'm not making this up) Cayden and Hayden. Yes. The same good-sport Hayden who was seen last year at the school program being navigated around the gymnasium by Queen Cee's hand planted firmly on top of his head.
I exchanged knowing glances with Hayden's Very Good-Natured Mom: "I'll try to watch and make sure she doesn't try that again," I promised.
"Well," she smiled, "we'll see."
The Queen is nothing if not entertaining.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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